I've just been wondering. Wondering if one of the reasons, why I dislike most of my art is because there's just no background to it. Background as in a story that backs it up, a proper idea.
All I draw is random fluff or porn or both. Never anything that just tells a story. =/
At leats that's what I'm feeling.
Blarg.
I feel like I have no ideas, baw. So everything just seems boring.
That sucks, because I like stuff that actually illustrates things and does more than just look pretty.
8/25/2010
8/22/2010
This is going to sound stupid and super whiney, but I just wanted to write it down. Usually makes me feel better about myself in the end.
Fandom makes me feel useless.
For some reason, I've always valued Fic more than Art.
I can't write, I suck at it actually.
My drawings are rather mediocre.
So, most people > me already.
(Especially in a fandom like Inception, where there are a lot of great authors.)
I'm also not as smart as most people, rather slow on the uptake, not witty enough, not talented enough and yeah, well.
I feel like I've nothing to contribute. I'm somewhat of a jealous and pretentious bitch too. Whenever I see art pop up, that's obviously above my own level, I feel let down. Why are you even bothering drawing, if there's people better than you to do it? Whenever I see stuff that's... bad, I don't bother giving it a secound glance.
It's hard to me to actually believe people enjoy the things I post, I've never reacted too well to positive feedback. I feel annoying and like some stupid attention whore.
I love drawing, I really do, but It's like I'm making no progress, like I can just never be enough for myself. So how could what I do ever be enough for others?
And I've spent soo much time on just.. practising lately too, to just make it better and yet I can't ever seem to be happy with what I do.
And while I've always been more of a lurker, it does feel rather lonely at times.
Ugh, tldr. I should just QQ moar.
I've spent soo much time visiting psychiatrists and yet nothing changed. xD
Fandom makes me feel useless.
For some reason, I've always valued Fic more than Art.
I can't write, I suck at it actually.
My drawings are rather mediocre.
So, most people > me already.
(Especially in a fandom like Inception, where there are a lot of great authors.)
I'm also not as smart as most people, rather slow on the uptake, not witty enough, not talented enough and yeah, well.
I feel like I've nothing to contribute. I'm somewhat of a jealous and pretentious bitch too. Whenever I see art pop up, that's obviously above my own level, I feel let down. Why are you even bothering drawing, if there's people better than you to do it? Whenever I see stuff that's... bad, I don't bother giving it a secound glance.
It's hard to me to actually believe people enjoy the things I post, I've never reacted too well to positive feedback. I feel annoying and like some stupid attention whore.
I love drawing, I really do, but It's like I'm making no progress, like I can just never be enough for myself. So how could what I do ever be enough for others?
And I've spent soo much time on just.. practising lately too, to just make it better and yet I can't ever seem to be happy with what I do.
And while I've always been more of a lurker, it does feel rather lonely at times.
Ugh, tldr. I should just QQ moar.
8/10/2010
8/05/2010
Ordered a new pen today. =]
Thanks a lot to Mü and Arii.
(And I still need to know what I owe you guys!)
Commissions are still open if anyone is interested! Out of work and need the money. Haha.
Life's been kinda dull lately. Not having any school or work is well, just boring. You wake up in the morning and have no idea how to spend your day. Even my motivation to draw has been lacking as of late.
Also, how i draw kawaii desu desu shoujo? 20USD for a haöfbody like that. /shot
I've fallen in love with Lolita fashion quite recently. Classic Lolita to be exact. I love the dresses and decent ruffles. It makes me sad I'll never fit into something like that. 5' 7 1/2" is probably a little too tall and I'm not cute (mangry face) or thin (not yet a landwhale tho!) enough. But regardless of my looks - it's too damn expensive anyway. But so cute, ffff. I love dresses/skirts of that lenght.
I generally need a new wardrobe tho. Most of my stuff is pretty old - and too black. Sadface.
Thanks a lot to Mü and Arii.
(And I still need to know what I owe you guys!)
Commissions are still open if anyone is interested! Out of work and need the money. Haha.
Life's been kinda dull lately. Not having any school or work is well, just boring. You wake up in the morning and have no idea how to spend your day. Even my motivation to draw has been lacking as of late.
Also, how i draw kawaii desu desu shoujo? 20USD for a haöfbody like that. /shot
I've fallen in love with Lolita fashion quite recently. Classic Lolita to be exact. I love the dresses and decent ruffles. It makes me sad I'll never fit into something like that. 5' 7 1/2" is probably a little too tall and I'm not cute (mangry face) or thin (not yet a landwhale tho!) enough. But regardless of my looks - it's too damn expensive anyway. But so cute, ffff. I love dresses/skirts of that lenght.I generally need a new wardrobe tho. Most of my stuff is pretty old - and too black. Sadface.
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