This is going to sound stupid and super whiney, but I just wanted to write it down. Usually makes me feel better about myself in the end.

Fandom makes me feel useless.
For some reason, I've always valued Fic more than Art.
I can't write, I suck at it actually.
My drawings are rather mediocre.
So, most people > me already.
(Especially in a fandom like Inception, where there are a lot of great authors.)
I'm also not as smart as most people, rather slow on the uptake, not witty enough, not talented enough and yeah, well.

I feel like I've nothing to contribute. I'm somewhat of a jealous and pretentious bitch too. Whenever I see art pop up, that's obviously above my own level, I feel let down. Why are you even bothering drawing, if there's people better than you to do it? Whenever I see stuff that's... bad, I don't bother giving it a secound glance.
It's hard to me to actually believe people enjoy the things I post, I've never reacted too well to positive feedback. I feel annoying and like some stupid attention whore.

I love drawing, I really do, but It's like I'm making no progress, like I can just never be enough for myself. So how could what I do ever be enough for others?
And I've spent soo much time on just.. practising lately too, to just make it better and yet I can't ever seem to be happy with what I do.

And while I've always been more of a lurker, it does feel rather lonely at times.




Ugh, tldr. I should just QQ moar.

I've spent soo much time visiting psychiatrists and yet nothing changed. xD